Santa: Welsh speaking children will have to go without this year

Sources close to the North Pole have confirmed that anyone who has written to Father Christmas (Welsh: Santi Pop Corn) using the Welsh language will not be receiving any Christmas present this year.

Under the European Directive EU2011/Gobleydegook/783459 all letters sent to Santa in ‘minority languages’ must be inspected at both Maastricht and Brussels to ensure that they can be translated into all languages used within the community.

Unfortunately, due the lack of vowels and the length of  some of the words, many of these letters were deemed to be written in Finnish and were discarded as Finland have their own arrangements for Christmas present distribution using the Nokia/Argos method.

A spokesman for the leader of the Labour led Welsh Government told us:

“Carwyn y Tractor is very cross about this but after nearly two years of Tory misrule in the UK what can we expect?”

Leader of the Welsh Conservative Party, Andrew (Re-Tweet) Davies said:

“I understand that this is a very regrettable situation and our Prime Minister David Cameron is looking into to it, but, what with the current fiscal crisis and picking fights with the Church of England I don’t expect this to be resolved until at least August”.

We did try and contact the Welsh Liberal Democrats but were told that there was no one available for comment apart from Jenny, Jenny, Jenny or Jenny.

We are still waiting for a response from Plaid Cymru but we understand that they are preoccupied playing musical chairs and trying to fit some ‘f’s’ into Leanne Wood’s name.

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