Bang on the head turns Essex man Welsh

After slipping on a wet floor and banging his head on a door frame, Balisdon born Barry Dishcloth now believes he is Welsh. The 24 year old hairdresser has shamed his family and friends by professing his ‘true nature’ as a Welshman.

Barry told us:

“When I came round I had an unstoppable urge to munch leeks, I’d always hated them before but now I eat them like my old friends eat pies. I even eat them raw”.

Doctors and psychologists are still puzzled about the change in Mr Dishcloth’s personality and his family are at a loss to explain what they see as his mental deterioration.

His long term partner Kevin Jaffacake told us:

“We’ve been together for years. We met at a gay bar in Canvey Island but since the bump on his bounce he does not want to know me. He seems more interested in that Charlotte Church these days.

“I really don’t know where to turn. The last straw was when I came back to our executive style mock Tudor/Georgian mock Barrett home to find that Barry had filled our jacuzzi with best quality anthracite.”

Barry’s Sister Mrs Asti Spumante added:

“We always knew where we was [sic] with our Bazza. He loved his Steps albums and Kylie but since the accident he is not the Brother I knew. He always used to cut my hair for free if I’d paint his nails.

“These days all he seems interested in is the Stereophonics or watching S4C repeats on cable”.

Barry’s stepmother Mrs Blue Nun declined to comment but is believed to be trying to cure her stepson with gifts from Argos and TK-Max.

Professor BK Sarnie from the University Hospital of Wales told us:

“This is certainly an unusual condition but not the first we have heard of. There have been a number of public Welsh figures recently who have come out as homosexual and turned English so I suppose this is just nature trying to redress the balance so to speak”.

If any of our readers have been affected by any issues raised in this article please phone the BBC and ask to speak to either the One Show or the Any Answers helpline.

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