WAG plans to launch combined Air, Sea and Mountain Rescue service

After today’s news that plans to privatise the search and rescue helicopter service have been suspended after concerns about the bidding process, the Welsh Assembly Government has announced plans to introduce a combined Mountain, Air and Sea Rescue Service (MASRS).

First Minister Carwyn Jones said:

“Wales has many mountains and is surrounded by sea, and there is also a lot of air above us so it makes sense to have a combined service”.

The announcement comes after the preferred supplier, Soteria, admitted it had access to commercially sensitive information. Ministry of Defence (MoD) Police are investigating how commercially sensitive information came to be in the possession of the bidder and the Department for Transport and  the MoD said the preferred supplier would not be used.

Mr Jones continued:

The Assembly has decide that rather than waiting for a decision from Westminster, we have awarded the contract for Wales to the Ameri-Australian consortium Flipper Skippy.

“Flipper Skippy have personnel experienced in aquatic rescues which will save on expensive and now out-dated helicopters such as the Sea Kings based on Angelsey. We are of course grateful for the help their pilots have given us over the years but with Prince William’s forthcoming marriage we really cannot afford to maintain the Prince, a wife and a helicopter in these times of economic hardship”.

A spokesman for Flipper Skippy told us:

“Good day, we hear that you have lots of mine shafts in Wales and our senior partner Mr Skippy has many years of experience of finding children stuck down mine shafts. Fair dinkum, he’s not too bad at hopping up mountains either”.

Notes:

  • The Soteria consortium, comprising the Canadian Helicopter Corporation (CHC), Thales, Sikorsky and the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) was chosen as the Preferred Bidder for the Search and Rescue Helicopter (SAR-H) project in February 2010. RBS subsequently pulled out of the consortium.
  • It was proposed to run the service with Sikorsky S92 helicopters.
  • Flipper is tuna friendly.
  • The clicking sounds made by Skippy are vocal sound effects, rather than the natural vocalisations of a kangaroo.

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