Clever scientists at the University of Wales Institute of Linguistics and Logics have found that by just removing the repetition of a few letters used in the Welsh language, many tons of paper could be saved, and over 100,000 man-hours could be cut by simply removing excessive consonants from official documents, which by law have to be published in both English and Welsh.
The Welsh Assembly are expected to debate the measures next week.
The boffins have found that:
- By replacing the use of of ‘dd’ with a ‘f’ when printed in Times New Roman 12pt, they could save enough paper to reach from here to the moon.
- Making the Minister for Heritage change his name to Alun Fred Jone would save enough paper when printed in Comic-Sans 14pt to cover the Arms Park six times over in the next ten years
A spokesperson from the Forestry Commission Wales (the Assembly body responsible for tree hugging) told us:
“We are greatly in favour of this idea, in fact why don’t they call themselves the Asembly?”
When asked by Welsh Icons – why they didn’t call refer to themselves as ‘the Forestry Comision Wales? They refused to comment.
Plaid AM Leanne Wood told us that she would be more than happy to change her name to Leane Wod as long as the they dropped all this Millennium nonsense.
She added:
“With a Wales Millennium Centre and a Wales Millennium Stadium, surely it would make more sense if in these recessionary times to drop the extra ‘l’ and ‘n’.”
Though she objected to the idea of changing Rhondda to Ronfa.
Conservative Shadow Minister for Equality, Mohammad Asghar told us that he had always tried to be economical with his use of language and that he frequently left out all pro-nouns when making speeches in the Senedd.
It is believed that the egg-heads at the University of Wales Institute of Linguistics and Logics are now working on a clever scheme to make all Welsh politicians have a proper first and second name. A source told us:
“So many of them want to cherry-picky all the first names”.
According to a leaked document, the targeted names include William Graham and Russell George
It also said that Helen Mary Jones was just plain greedy and Carl Sargeant could and would cause confusion if he ever joined a Welsh police force.
