A loving wife will light a candle at a special Christmas service to remember her beloved husband who died from cancer.
Lesley Owen, 56, from St Asaph, will remember her husband David, who died from cancer in 2001, aged 53, at the emotional Light up a Life service at St Asaph Cathedral on Friday, December 6, at 6pm.
It is one of seven services organised by St Kentigern Hospice over the Christmas period for people to remember and pay tribute to their loved ones.
St Kentigern, in St Asaph, is an eight-bed in patient hospice with day care facilities provides unparalleled care for those with life-threatening and terminal illness, but has to rely on 80 per cent of its income from the generous donations of the public.
Lesley, who is a deputy retail manager for St Kenigern Hospice, has two children, Jack and Nicola, with her husband.
She said: “You never escape it, and you don’t want to escape it. I look at the children and I remember him even more.
“You should always remember someone who was part of your family. They’re still part of you, and you’ll never forget them.
“I was married for 23 years, and there were very good memories.
“I remember Christmas morning with the children finding their presents.
“One particular Christmas we bought my daughter a karaoke machine. I can vividly see my husband singing Delilah. They’re fantastic memories but I can get very tearful as well – so I especially remember Christmas time.
“Sometimes you do get the dark moments, and you do get angry because they’re not there.”
Lesley’s husband David died 12 years ago aged 53, and he visited the day centre at St Kentigern when he was very ill.
She said: “The hospice was great. He could come here and just have a good chat with people, read the papers, talk about the football and things like that. It was quite a normal environment so it helped us retain that normality. The help that they gave us was fantastic.
“It was a very hard experience when he died. You read about these types of things or you know people that it’s happened to, and you feel sorry for them, but you don’t expect it to happen to you.
“It was hard to come to terms with. At the point that you know that they’re not going to recover you just have to do everything you can to make them comfortable.
“I was very lucky in some respects. It might sound like a strange thing to say, but his brother and his brother’s wife were both nurses so they gave me the help I needed.
“He passed away at home in his own bed which was nice, especially for the children, because we sat by his bedside as he passed away. It was very peaceful.”
Walter Rigby, 73, from Mostyn will remember his wife Heather, who died from cancer in 2007, aged 60, at the service.
Walter, who has been a fundraising volunteer for St Kentigern Hospice for 16 years, has a son called Simon with Heather, and two grandchildren, Lois and Evan.
He said: “When you remember them for the first time it’s very painful, because it’s like having part of your body torn away. Not cut away but literally torn away, and you just feel dreadful.
“The first time I went I think I cried most of the way through. But as the years have gone by, it’s got less painful – but I still cry when I go to these services.”
“I remember my wife all of the time. Whatever I do and wherever I am, she’s there with me. But the Light up a Life service for me, it’s something different. When I was first bereaved it was just a ray of hope somehow.
“I have a lot of fond memories of my wife – our wedding day, when my son Simon was born, family get-togethers, and particularly Christmas time.
“When I go to the service I feel part of a community, because everybody who goes there has lost somebody.”
St Kentigern fundraiser Jackie Jeffrey said: “The Light up a Life services are about remembering people that you’ve lost and celebrating their life with loved ones and family and friends. There are carols and there are readings and prayers.
“It’s just a lovely way of remembering a loved one, and everyone virtually is in the same position, so that if you get upset and cry you’re not embarrassed because a lot of other people feel the same way.
“Light up a Life is one of the most valued events in our calendar. It enables hundreds of people in our local community to experience the warmth and joy of sharing precious memories as they light a candle and remember a loved one.
“The memorial events are open to everyone, not just those who have experienced hospice care.
“We encourage other people in the community to support their local hospice and sign up to their nearest event. Like all independent hospices, St Kentigern Hospice relies on public generosity to fund our services and we are always grateful for the support we receive from people across our community.”
The Light up a Life services will be held on the following dates: Friday, December 6, 6pm at St Asaph Cathedral; Sunday, December 8, 6pm at Waen Chapel (this service will be in Welsh); Sunday, December 8, 11.15am at St Dyfnog’s Church, Llanrhaeadr; Friday, December 13, 6pm at Parish Church, Prestatyn; Friday, December 13, 6pm at St Peters Church Ruthin; Thursday, December 19, 4 pm at Butterfly’s Tea Rooms, Kinmel Bay; Sunday, January 19, 6pm at Christ Church, Rhyl.
