Welsh Pupils Only Pretend to be Thick

schoolDespite today’s PISA report showing that Welsh pupils lag behind the rest of the UK in basic skills such as literacy and numeracy, Professor Dai Ap-Miggins of Merthyr University has claimed that this is just an elaborate ploy by today’s youth to avoid the boredom of full-time employment doing mind-numbingly dull jobs for the minimum wage in the many call-centres that have sprung up all over  Wales.
15 year old Chantelle from Newport told us:

“I’m really clever like [sic] but I’ve managed to hide it well. There is no way that I want a job like [sic] as a beautician spraying people orange day-in-day-out.”

Barry Ian-Land (16) from the Vale of Glamorgan added:

“I understood the Dirac equations before I was out of my Argos pram but I managed to keep it quiet from my teachers as I’d much rather stay at my mam’s house and play with my X-box (and myself) while eating Gregg’s Chicken Slices.”

Leader Carwyn Jones is on record as saying back in October:

“I expect to see an improvement in our PISA results in December; I have said that before.”

We at Welsh Icons asked Mayor of London, Boris Johnson to comment but is office told us:

“Boris is in hiding today after a wireless outfit managed to prove that despite going to Eton he is a thick blond twat.”

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