Despite today’s PISA report showing that Welsh pupils lag behind the rest of the UK in basic skills such as literacy and numeracy, Professor Dai Ap-Miggins of Merthyr University has claimed that this is just an elaborate ploy by today’s youth to avoid the boredom of full-time employment doing mind-numbingly dull jobs for the minimum wage in the many call-centres that have sprung up all over Wales.
15 year old Chantelle from Newport told us:
“I’m really clever like [sic] but I’ve managed to hide it well. There is no way that I want a job like [sic] as a beautician spraying people orange day-in-day-out.”
Barry Ian-Land (16) from the Vale of Glamorgan added:
“I understood the Dirac equations before I was out of my Argos pram but I managed to keep it quiet from my teachers as I’d much rather stay at my mam’s house and play with my X-box (and myself) while eating Gregg’s Chicken Slices.”
Leader Carwyn Jones is on record as saying back in October:
“I expect to see an improvement in our PISA results in December; I have said that before.”
We at Welsh Icons asked Mayor of London, Boris Johnson to comment but is office told us:
“Boris is in hiding today after a wireless outfit managed to prove that despite going to Eton he is a thick blond twat.”
